Are people with autism gaslighters or victims of gaslighting?

Herken gaslighting en framing en neem afstand

In a world where psychological manipulation is increasingly recognized and addressed, it's important to consider the vulnerability of certain groups. One such group is people with autism. In this blog post, we explore the relationship between autism and gaslighting: are people with autism more likely to be the perpetrators or the victims of this destructive form of manipulation?

What is gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which the victim loses confidence in their own perception, memory, and sense of reality. The gaslighter—often someone with a strong need for control and power—uses subtle or overt techniques to sow confusion, shift blame, and undermine the other person. The gaslighter's goal isn't truth or connection, but power.

The psychology of the gaslighter

Gaslighters are often characterized by traits from the so-called "dark trinity": narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy. They often have fragile egos, are incapable of self-reflection, and are unable to take responsibility for their behavior. In conflicts, they choose "winning" over fairness or harmony. This behavior is either intentional or learned, and stems from a deep-seated need for control.

Autism: A Different Way of Perceiving

People with autism (ASD) process information differently. They are often: - Straightforward and honest in communication - Sensitive to inconsistencies in behavior or language - Less adept at social games or manipulative tactics - Strongly focused on logic and truth

These characteristics make them particularly unsuitable as gaslighters. Gaslighting requires the ability to strategically lie, emotionally manipulate, and deliberately undermine other people's reality – skills that are at odds with the typical characteristics of autism.

Why people with autism are often victims

People with autism are often honest, loyal, and conflict-avoidant. They take communication literally and have difficulty recognizing hidden intentions or manipulative signals. This makes them particularly vulnerable to gaslighting. Some reasons why: 1. They are more likely to doubt themselves when their perceptions are contradicted. 2. They look for logic in irrational or manipulative behavior, which keeps them trapped in the dynamic. 3. They take responsibility for misunderstandings, even when they are not their fault. 4. They are sensitive to social exclusion, which leads them to adapt to destructive relationships.

Recognizing Gaslighting When You Have Autism

It is important for people with autism to learn: - To recognize and set boundaries - To develop confidence in their own perception - To learn to recognize manipulative patterns (such as blame reversal, word salads, or downplaying feelings) - To seek support from trusted third parties who can help to test reality

Are people with autism never gaslighters?

While it's theoretically possible for someone with autism to exhibit gaslighting behavior, it's important to distinguish between intentional manipulation and unintentional social awkwardness. For example, someone with autism might:

- Uncomfortable response to emotions - Difficulty making excuses - Rigidly sticking to their own logic

This behavior stems from neurological differences, not from a need for power or control. So it's not gaslighting in the classic sense.

Conclusion

People with autism are far more likely to be victims of gaslighting than perpetrators. Their honesty, loyalty, and sensitivity to social rejection make them vulnerable to manipulative individuals who prioritize power over connection. It is therefore essential that they—and those around them—learn to recognize gaslighting and protect themselves from it.

In depth: What is framing and what is its relationship to gaslighting and autism?

Framing is a psychological and communication concept that refers to the way information is presented or “framed,” thereby influencing the recipient’s interpretation and response. It is not just about what is said, but especially how it is said. Framing occurs through:- Selection of words (e.g. “refugee” vs. “fortune seeker”)- Choice of context (e.g. “economic crisis” vs. “market correction”)- Emphasizing certain aspects and omitting others- Use of metaphors, analogies, or rephrasings.

Framing is explicitly mentioned as one of the techniques gaslighters use, specifically under the term "frame control." Here's how framing relates to gaslighting:

Framing: - Can be neutral or positive - Used to direct perspective - Can be conscious or unconscious - Can lead to better communication

Gaslighting: - Is always manipulative and damaging - Is used to distort reality - Is often strategic and goal-oriented - Leads to confusion, doubt and loss of control

Gaslighters use framing as a weapon. They reframe events, conversations, or emotions in such a way that the victim feels guilty, insecure, or irrational.

For example: - “You're exaggerating again, that's not what happened.” → reframing of reality - “You're always so sensitive.” → reframing of emotional reactions as weakness - “Everyone thinks you're being difficult.” → reframing of social perception

Framing is particularly dangerous for people with autism because they often take communication literally and are less adept at recognizing manipulation. They often accept statements as factually true, have difficulty recognizing hidden intentions, and can become entangled in the logic of a false frame. A gaslighter can exploit this by twisting the frame in such a way that the autistic person begins to doubt their own perception or intentions—precisely the goal of gaslighting.